My Grandma

I thought I had to dedicate this post specially to my grandma.All the thoughts and emotions I have been keeping inside has been trying to burst out of me for sometime now. Its just sooo painful dat it has become numb. I wanna keep crying. I wanna feel the pain but i cant. I miss her sooo much. I wanna give her the flower we both like. I wanna c her on the sofa when i go to her house. I wanna talk to her like we used to. I wanna touch her hand and tell her I love her sooo much. I wanna go to her house and sit beside her watch her stupid drama serials and comment and all the nonsense together wid her. I wanna kiss her on the cheek n get a kiss back. I wanna hug her...play scrabble wid her n help her win. I wanna have lunch with her.

Everyday in sch...i jus feel more n more numb. I keep my feelings in myself coz ppl tend to think dat i shld be fine by now. but im not. I jus cant b. I am closer to my grandma than my mum. I do love my mum but everytime i go to my grandma's house there is warmth and u jus feel sooo loved. Even my friends have felt it. There is really no place i feel more at home than my grandma's house.

I miss my cousin leela akka. She was always there when i needed her. now she is uk n i cant even b there to comfort her...afterall she was the closest to my grandma. I feel like hugging her and consoling her but i cant. I feel sooo frustrated, angry and yet sooo numb. I feel very detached from myself. put up a front n life goes on for me.

Chem common test was screwed la. woah i never study d previous common test so i totally forgot how to do the qns dat i did corrections for previously. other than dat it was ok la. hope to pass the test. i noe i should have done better but yea i will do well for mye. Vinod,Hanif,Cai Er,Ahmad,Durga n i have made a bet that the person who does best for mye will get 5 bucks from the rest. haha will c how it turns out.

I think i gotta work really hard for my maths now. i forgot my pre u 1 n 2 topics. super screwed la. lucky vinod was teaching me sth abt differentiation. i forgot all my a maths all la. mus start working hard from now if i wan decent grades for As.

Last sat had a party at my place. it was for sanjay before he left for denmark. he said he will come every yr to visit us. so yea til den...some pics i took in my hse.

i went for the party in my uncle's house yday. didnt intend to go but went bcoz of my dad. i sat in my cousin's room and did my econs work n didnt join in the fun. damn sad la. I met sanjay yday. he looked damn good la. when he saw me he came over and gave me a hug. hmm...was weird la. he never hug me before. guess its some denmark way of greeting...a one arm hug...coz he hugged every one there as well.we talked for a while abt the woes of a levels dis yr n his life over at Denmark. he was asking me to open a facebook. seriously i hardly even update my blog n i definitely cannot manage a facebook la. anyway c how it goes.anyway i got loads of work 2 do n got a party in my house on sat as well. testing on how i manage my time with the amt of work and stuff goin on...

CIP

My class n i went to metta home for low and normal income family children. It was one of the most enjoyable CIP i have done sooo far. The children were very cute and were super enthusiastic abt playing the games we arranged for them. We had ice breaking games and a mini amazing race for the children. the staff had told us that she wanted us to have team building activities for the children. we also had a story telling session for them which they enjoyed very much as well.

My family fren Sanjay came down from denmark for a surprise visit on mon..i was damn shocked la. he didnt even tell his parents. they arrived from their hol in australia to find sanjay on the front porch waiting for them. I havent seen him for abt 2 yrs now. having a family function today,fri and sat jus for him.haha...dunno whether i can go today. got loads of work to do for econs tuition tmr morning. but i will definitely go on fri n sat to see him.

Jus some pics...

Sanjay
grp pic b4 leaving sch for cip

Amazing race
Mr Pow damn cute la

Amazing Race
Story Telling

Simon says...

At the end of it all,one last grp pic

Not well again

Thursday i went for econs tuition. vinod jus joined my tuition so it was his first lesson. it was quite fun and it was quite a hmm "enriching" lesson. den half way thru the lesson i suddenly started having a cold. i thot it was nth much but when i got home i started having a fever as well! still thot i could go drama on fri but when i woke up on fri my fever was like 38.6 degree celsius! i threw up a few times and i still had to meet shoba to pass her some drama stuff for drama later dat day. I took a cab from my hse to her hse and it was freaking 9 bucks! usually its only 5 bucks! den i took a cab back and wasted a total of 18 bucks! went 2 c d doc. he gave me excuse from pe on mon. i dun get y i keep falling sick. its soo irritating to sit arnd n do nth. woah...i cant wait to get well!!!

Results

I got my results already...E for lit n B,distinction for tamil. Damn upset la...E for freaking lit which i am capable of doin much better. kinda expected it yet upset. Gotta do well for As now. gonna work n do better for mye after my screwed up results for common test.

freakin out

Tmr is the results for a levels. Im sooo freakin out. im sooo dead. im gonna fail. i noe how i did the paper. i super screwed it up. im gonna fail!!!
My stupid blog is showing d date for my earlier post wrongly. how do i change it?? i jus posted it on like 4th march and it says 15 feb. its sooo off la. irritating...
Parents meeting session on sat. only my mum's coming. i screwed up common test as well. so yea gonna get it from my mum..im waiting for all d bad things 2 come at once.=(